The effect upon global temperature of talking like a pirate
The effect upon global temperature of talking like a
pirate
David
Norwood, Ph.D. scientist, FotLCoP
Fellow of the Louisiana College of Pastafarianism
My House
Abstract
It is
well established with a graph that global warming is
caused by a pirate deficiency
[Henderson,
2005]. We
prove scientifically, with a graph (including
error bars) and
references,
that the precepts of Flying Spaghetti Monsterism
are true and that anyone who
doubts
them is wrong.
Introduction
After the Flying Spaghetti Monster created a mountain, trees and a midget, he created
pirates. A decrease in the number of pirates due to persecution caused the global
temperature to increase [Henderson, 2005]. It seems intuitively obvious, then, that an
increase of pirates will decrease the global temperature. Furthermore, behaving like a
pirate must have an equally strong effect upon global temperature. We set out to prove
this conclusion.
Methods
We looked up information on the World Wide Web on the temperature of various cities
on September 19, 2005 (International Talk-Like-A-Pirate Day) and certain other cities on
September 18 and 20, 2005. We then calculated the average and standard deviation of
these temperatures. Note that the calculation of standard deviation is a scientific
procedure.
Results
In this table, we show the results of our investigation. The table shows the temperature
on September 19, 2005 (International Talk-Like-A-Pirate Day), as well as the day before
and the day after. Note that we give the units for the temperature to make this scientific.
In addition, we plotted the data on a graph with error bars. The error bars prove that this
is scientific.
Conclusions
The data show that on September 19, 2005, International Talk-Like-A-Pirate Day, the
average global temperature dropped by a statistically significant amount, proving that
when everyone on the planet “talks like a pirate”, the global temperature drops. This is
further evidence that pirate deficiency is the cause of global warming and that we are
right and everyone else is wrong.
References
Henderson, Bobby, http://www.venganza.org/, June 2005
